Solemnizing

As I mentioned in my last post (all 5 minutes ago), Mike and I knew from the start that we were looking for a secular ceremony that would be deeply meaningful to the both of us. We knew that we wanted someone who could take our long history and blend it with the prospect of our long future together. We wanted someone who would, of course, give the day the appropriate gravitas but still understand that it was me and Mike, and well, gravitas isn't our forte.

Half-heartedly and half-serious, we mentioned to our friend DJ how wonderful it would be if he could officiate our ceremony. I met DJ about 2 weeks after I met Mike, and Mike's known him even longer. DJ has been with us for the good times (he was our roommate in Nashua) and the bad (he was my roommate in Nashua after Mike moved out). It's funny to think, but he is one of both Mike's and my closest and dearest friends. Both of us. Pretty much equally. Before we had asked DJ, when we were considering our bridal party, I was considering fighting Mike to get DJ to be on my side instead of his.

DJ is one of the most spiritual and religious people I know. His faith is deep and a significant part of who he is. I was worried, when I first asked him, that he wouldn't consider officiating for this reason. You see, in order to officiate our wedding, DJ had to become ordained with the Universal Life Church and I was a little hesitant to ask him because I didn't know if it would conflict with his faith.

After we asked, DJ did quite a bit of research into what would be involved, how the process would work, etc. When he finally got back to us, he explained that he would be honored to do it but there were a few hoops he had to jump through.

So for those considering this option, here are the steps.

Step 1. Become Ordained.
Seems complicated, no? Actually it's really not. The Universal Life Church provides free ordinations over the Internet with the catch being you pay to get all the paper work and all the extra goodies. After a few minutes, DJ was officially Reverend DJ.

Step 2. Get your paperwork in.
Once you've ordered the necessary paperwork, it's time to wait. For DJ, it took a few weeks.

Step 3. Ask for permission.
In NH, an in-state ordained minister may marry any citizen. Well, any citizen looking to marry someone of the opposite sex, but that's a post for another day. If you're an out-of-state minister, you have to apply for a special dispensation to marry a specific couple. In DJ's case, that's us! (actually, it's us and another couple. The weekend after our wedding, DJ's marrying another couple friend of his!)

Step 4. Wait for permission.
Like all bureaucracy, getting the permission takes time. But a few weeks ago DJ got this in the mail!

I don't know if you can read that, but the gist of it says that Rev. DJ is authorized to marry us! Woo Hoo!!!

We are so honored to have someone so close to us solemnize our marriage (sounds so darn official). DJ is so special to both of us and having him perform the ceremony will make it so personal and meaningful to us. Our ceremony won't be too long, but what it lacks for in length, it will more than make up for in meaning, sentiment and love. We are so lucky not only to love each other but to love the person who will be marrying us!

Where It's At

Neither Mike nor I are particularly religious people. When we first started talking about getting married (umm... about 10 years ago or so...), we both knew we didn't want to be married by a priest in a church. For me the decision was based on a lot of things. But most importantly, I want to stand by every single word I am going to say at my wedding, and not fudge anything, even a little bit.

So Mike and I always knew that we'd be married in a secular ceremony in a not-particularly religious place. Growing up in Londonderry, we often drove past this little stone chapel in Hudson. It's surrounded by a wrought iron gate and set back from the road. It is just the perfect little chapel. Whenever we talked about where we were going to get married, Mike always picked the Alvirne Chapel as the place.
Isn't it so cute?? A visit to the chapel was the first order of business when we began wedding planning. And we even visited the chapel before we were ever engaged! Like a whole YEAR before we were ever engaged. Once we were officially engaged, we went back and booked our date right away!

The Alvirne Chapel was built by Alfred Hill for his wife Virginia (Alvirne is a portmanteau of their name). The Hill's were a prominent Hudson family in the late 1800's and early 1900's. The chapel fits about 115 people (including the standing bridal party) so our day might just be standing-room only!

Good bye Dru

Just a quick note. Last night we had to put down our second kitten, Dru. She had the same problems Spike did and it was devastating watching her get sick too.

The doctor was confident that this wasn't something that Chewie and Jake can get - and we're really hoping she's right.

Flowers, flowers, flowers

When I first told Mike that I was thinking of making all of our bouquets for the wedding, he thought it was a really bad idea. He had this image of me as a stress ball, running around the day before our wedding with flowers in one hand and a box of tissues in the other. He still may not be wrong...

But that's not going to stop me from trying. A few weeks ago, Leah and I bought a few bunches of roses from Hannaford and set to work trying to make a bouquet. I, of course, being the irresponsible blogger that I am, don't have pictures for you. But I'll steal generic ones from the internet to illustrate.

I'd done my research in advance. I looked at a few descriptions on a few of my wedding blogs - including this one from Wedding Bee - and then I found this lovely video.

With that behind us, we set to work. We tried a few different times and a couple different ways to get what I was looking for. Which was basically this:
I want something with varying heights but not crazy. I like the idea of the accent flower, but we just had roses to work with. After a few tries, we were pretty pleased with what we came up with. It should *hopefully* not take up the ENTIRE day before the wedding and I have a great resource behind me for support (and not just my amazing bridesmaids).

During my travels on the Internet, I discovered 2G Roses. A company based in California, they specialize in all natural growing and direct to consumer distribution. And they specialize in wedding flowers.

We provide fresh cut flowers and greens to people who want to do some or all of their own arranging. The only finished product that we supply are green garlands. Doing the arrangements yourself is not as difficult as it sounds. Arranging flowers is actually quite easy if you stay away from complex styles. Keep in mind that flowers are attractive all by themselves and you have to work very hard to make them look bad. We have had thousands of brides do their own flowers and their skill levels have been from "what's a rose?" to former florist and I have yet to see one that didn't pull it off.

I can get 150 red and white roses for under $160. That will be more than enough for the 6 bridesmaids and my bouquets, the boutonniere for the groomsmen, dads and Mike, and the corsages for the moms and grandmas. That'll leave room for error, broken flowers, and even ambition if I want to do something more.

Like all craft projects, the potential for me pouting is definitely there. But I made it through the test run with minimal stomping and I think the second time around will be even better. I'm planning on ordering a "test bunch" in a few months to give it another try and to see the quality of their flowers.

And anytime I think the project is getting overwhelming, I'm just going to stop, smell the roses (hehehehe) and remember how much freaking money I'm saving by doing this myself.

107th day of my wedding

A quote from a recent Wedding Bee entry:

In Judaism there is a willingness to ignore the boundaries between everyday life and holiness. Thus your wedding begins when you first announce your decision to marry and includes every aspect of planning and preparing for the big day. Even arguments about who gets invited and what gets served for dinner are part of the festivities. Nor is your wedding over until the last thank-you note is written, the last photograph is pasted in the scrapbook, and the last bill is paid.

I couldn't have said better how I really feel about our wedding. I'm so excited to spend a day declaring my love for Mike, to tell the world out loud my plans to spend my life with him, to commit to our relationship and our family wholly and without reservation. But for me it's more than that.

My wedding is not about that one special day, the perfect flowers, the perfect dress, the perfect menu. It is about bringing those people in the world who are most special to us to one place, standing in front of them, and then celebrating with them, well into the night. Of course I care about the dress, the flowers, the menu. I want them to be wonderful and fun, and they will be. But that's not what's most important.

This quote reminds me that life isn't made up of singular important days, that our journey to become husband and wife doesn't begin and end on a short aisle in a small chapel in Hudson. It's about how we treat each other every day, it's about who we chose to have stand by us as we make this journey.

There are 347 days left of my wedding. And I'm sure not all of them will be filled by the clarity I have right now. I'll become overwhelmed with the importance of table numbers, I'll fight my way through the seating chart, and I'm sure cry (or at least pout extensively) about plenty of craft projects. But hopefully those days will be few, and I can look to this quotation and remember that the wedding has already begun. That the journey has already started, and that if I squint my eyes and listen closely, the aisle's right in front of me and the music's already started.

Always a bridesmaid, a bride next year

So I have the wonderful privilege of being a bridesmaid for one of my dearest friends Steph. Tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 pm she will marry the man she loves. I couldn't be happier for her.

As I've attended bridal fairs, floral appointments, bridesmaid dress shopping and linen appointments over the past year while she's been planning, I've had the opportunity to get a head start on my planning. And her wedding will certainly be beautiful! I just had the chance to see the preview of her flowers, and they are simply magnificent. All fall colors with roses, dahlias, tulips, daisies and eucalyptus leaves - they are just breathtaking. They made me reconsider doing my flowers myself, but only for a moment. The elegance of her wedding is something I can't try to match.

With her permission, I'll hopefully post some pictures from the wedding next week. They're sure to be amazing. Steph looks spectacular in her dress, and everything is going to be just perfect for her day. I couldn't be more excited or happy for her.

I'm off to go get ready for the rehearsal!

Thank You!

Thank you so much to Leah and Kirsten and everyone who helped them with the engagement party last night.

We had such a wonderful time!